We have the Ghost Whisperer, Dog Whisperer, Cat Whisperer, Horse Whisperer, but have we thought about being the Mother of all whisperers? The Human Whisperer? I know this sounds funny but it is the most basic life skill set we all must strive to possess. And we think that as humans, we know how to do this?
The number ONE challenge that almost all of my clients have is to be able to communicate effectively. Whether it is with their family, loved ones, colleagues, clients or subordinates, this is ONE BIG CHALLENGE.
Over the course of the last two to three weeks, it made me realise that most of the work that I have been doing is really about teaching people how to communicate effectively. It is not about speaking well or having good diction. It is about communicating with each individual or group in such a way that they get what I am saying. Sometimes, I am required to be tough/stern, others times I am required to be soft and loving, and other times, it is important to be humorous. TIMING to do what and when is really the key.
Some of the key challenges that most people face include:
- communicating with self? Is there effective self talk that one has clarity in the direction they are heading?
- communicating with others – Are your needs understood? Are you being heard?
- is using voice better than touch? Or vice versa?
- how to communicate effectively with a crowd so that you are rallying them towards something positive
- does being a leader automatically make you an effective communicator? Or is it the other way around?
If our communication skills are effective, then we will certainly have less of a challenge in our relationship with others. It is a fundamental skill that we must have. However, it is also one of the most challenging to learn, and a skillset that is challenging to impart.
To effectively learn this skill, attending a workshop for the masses on tactics, techniques etc is not sufficient. Simply because we are all different. One must learn to adapt these skills to different life situations and with different people.
I have found that certain communication skills I have coached one client on, will not work on another as effectively. As the facilitator, I am required to adapt to each of the needs of my clients. Now, keep in mind that as a coach, it is necessary for me to have this skill set. But the reality is, everyone should have these skill sets too. We need one another, that goes without saying, so our need for one another requires us to communicate. If this skill is missing, not only are our own needs not being met, you will not be able to meet the needs of others as well, whether it is in an intimate relationship, social relationship or work relationship.
I just googled “how to communicate your sexual needs to your partner”. And there are over 7 million results. This just goes to show that even the most basic human need is not being met. Couples are having real difficulties communicating their basic needs to their partners. If this is a challenge, what about other needs?